Signs, Signs, Everwhere there's signs!

We were driving in the car the other day and we saw a sign that said "Signage available." This started a great debate amoung the tribe. Is signage even a word?

The Tyrant brought up a Spongbob episode where Mr. Krabs says it. The Mother Hen chimes in, "That is a cartoon, so it doesn't have to use real words and I don't think it is a real word." The Show wonders, "But is if is not a real word, why is it on that sign?" Bear rolls his eyes at us, "You guys are crazy... Some body pease save me from this conversation!"

So, when I got home, I went so Wikipedia. And according to them signage, is in fact a real word. Mystery solved!

I finally understand, Dad...

I will always remember my favorite Christmas present from when I was a kid. I was about 9 years old when my parents gave me a set of Fisher Price adjustable in-line skates. They were the kind that you wore tennis shoes and tightened the skate around them. I don't really even remember if I asked for them, or it it was just something they thought we might enjoy. At first thaw, I remember being very excited because I could finally go and try them out.


The first ride was pretty painful because I spent more time on my butt then on my skates. The second and third were better. By the end of the week, I couldn't stay off of them. When my friends would ride their bikes, I would skate along side them. My dad use to watch me all of the time when I was skating. He use to insist that I stay close to the house, so that he could watch. I use to get so mad because I thought he didn't trust me or was too scared that I would get hurt.

As I got older and I got new pairs of skates, he still would insist that I spent some time skating near the house. He would tell that me that he enjoyed to watch me. Being a kid, I didn't understand so I thought that he was just smothering me. I use to deliberately try to not skate near the house. I would even take my skates off down the block and walk the rest of the way home.

When I started college and there was less time for fun, I stopped skating as much. He would ask every time that he saw me if I was still skating. I would say "No, too much stuff to do." He would always look disappointed and I was never really sure why. I wasn't sure if he thought that I was getting overweight or if I was less healthy or something.

But, on Father's Day, I finally understood. I was sitting with him watching the girls and Bear play with his dog Max. They were running around, laughing and having fun. He and I just sat there and watched them for a while. That is when I finally got it. I was an awkward kid and I still don't really fit in well with my family, but when I was skating I was truly happy and having fun. He would enjoy watching me have fun, just as I enjoyed watching the girls on Sunday. So Dad, I finally understand why you wanted to watch me so much. I am sorry I was kind of a butt-hole about it.

The moment ended, as all touching moments do. Bear announced that it was time to leave. The Tyrant asked, "Why Daddy?" And Bear said, "Because Sonny wants some peace for Father's Day, you dog terrorists!"

Dances, Boys, and Tears: The aftermath

The fued between The Mother Hen and her former best friend started as soon as they got back to school. It started as any other girl fight... "You are a jerk because you stole my boyfriend!" "Well, I wouldn't have stole him if you weren't so ugly!" And so on...

Then, it started to evolve. The former best friend started threatening her and then hiding behind her friends that were no long friends with The Mother Hen. So, The Mother Hen, taking advice from her mother, decided to turn the "whole school" against this girl. When she told Bear and I about this, she was so proud of herself. But, honestly, I have never been more disappointed in her. Not only did she not try to fix the problem but she escalated it so that it was getting well out of control. I had to tell her what I thought. (Because I am an opiniated big mouth.) She was furious with me because I told her that she was wrong. I suggested talking to this girl one-on-one. If she hid behind her friends, I suggested that she talk to her anyway. I also told her at this point, if you won't confront her about it all, just ignore her.

The Mother Hen's pride got the best of her when her former friend started sending threating text messages and myspace messages. Since her profile is set to private (only friends can see it and leave comments) I told her to delete her from her friends list and ignore the messages. She didn't and it got worse. Then her mother got involved. She called the school and threatened to call the police on the school and this girl. The Mother Hen was called into the principal's office as soon as she arrived at school and was told a couple of things. 1) Since you sent threatening messages too, if the police get involved you will be charged and expelled from school and 2) if anything like this happens again that she would be suspended.

Personally, I feel pretty damn lucky that she wasn't suspended. With as many stories in the news lately of teen girl violence, I thought for sure that she was going to be sent home for a few days. Here is what I don't really understand why the social war? Why turn the school against anyone and why respond to the threats on your cell phone? Maybe I was raised around too many boys, but if it were me, I wouldn't have responded to the threats over my cell phone or the internet (chat rooms were the big thing when I was a teen and pagers too... yikes, I am old). I would have confronted the girl at school. I would have said "Why don't you say that to my face? Are you too scared?" Girls just don't fight that way.

That is the one thing I learned from watching Mean Girls. (Besides that it is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back). Girls are taught that violence is not an option and they must be prim and proper at all times. So, they fight these crazy passive aggressive wars that end up with ruined reputations and tears. That is starting to change but the idea of escalation hasn't. I mean, can you seriously believe some of this shit? Now mom's are getting involved in teen girl battles so that the escalation continues.

It is no longer enough to beat up a girl that wronged you. You now have to post it on MySpace, YouTube and Facebook. I am personally disgusted by this whole business. It is past time that we as mothers to daughters start setting the example. We need to show girls to fight together rather than fight each other. Maybe I am the only one that feels this way, and I am an opinionated loud mouth so I say/write what I feel.

What is normal anyway?

This weekend, a friend of The Mother Hen's came over and spent the day and night with us. It went really well but I can't help but wonder what that kid is thinking now that she is home. She and her parents do not get along very well and are rarely home.

We had a normal weekend for us... Saturday night we all sat down on the porch on a blanket and had dinner. We made quesadillas and passed around salsa and jokes. Every night that we are together we all have dinner together. Most of the time there is a lot of laughing involved. And dinner is not over until someone says, "Hey, I was trying to take a drink. Are you trying to make it come out of my nose?" My understanding is that this kid almost never has dinner with her parents and if she does, it is for a holiday.

Later that evening, we rented movies from the video store and prepared snacks for movie night. Normally, we all watch a few movies together, but Bear and I skipped this time (much to everyone's disappointment) and watched game one of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Mother Hen's friend had to ask why everyone was upset. And the answer she received was "We love Movie night when we are all together. It is just not as fun without our parents."

Sunday started with breakfast and insults from room to room and more laughter. Most families probably don't insult each other and laugh as much as we do. Our parenting theory is, there are two kinds of bullies, physical ones and emotional ones. Our kids have thick skin and a sharp wit because we foster it. We call our home "The Shark Tank." The friend spent most of Sunday morning with her eyes really big. She had never seen anything like it.

In the afternoon, we went to the park. Both Bear and I got involved in chasing the kids around the park. She would just stare at us. She didn't even know how to react. I honestly felt really bad for her and her parents. Our kids talk to us about everything. They aren't afraid to ask questions and truly talk to us.

I know that sounds really naive because anyone out there with teenagers will think I am crazy. But, we have earned their trust and their respect because we had to fight for them and still do. Most teenagers think that their parents don't care or don't get it. We have had the luxury (or challenge, depending on how you look at it) of being tested. We still have to fight for them because their mother just doesn't care about them.

I wish that more families were like ours. I know that there are some out there but I think the world would be a better place if every child knew for a fact that their parents truly cared and truly had their best interests in mind.

Mother's Day Cake

The Joker wears flip-flops! (The cake was delicious, even if a looked a bit wierd.)

Dances, Boys and Tears

This past Friday The Mother Hen had her eight-grade farewell dance. She was so looking forward to it because she had been talking to a boy on the phone for the past two weeks and they were suppose to meet there and hang out.

When we dropped her off, she perked right up and started looking for the boy. He was no where in site, but she wasn't discouraged. "He's probably not here yet. Love you guys! Thanks! See you later!" was the last thing she said before she got out of the car. As it turns out the begining of the dance was great. Things were going well and she and the boy were really having fun. But later, she lost track of him. When she found him again, he was dancing, holding hands and flirting with her best friend. When she got home, I had no idea what to say to her.

When I was in 8th grade, my best friend was a boy. And he didn't dance or flirt with other boys. So, I had no real danger of the situation ever happening to me. But I held her close for a while and tried to come up with something to say. The best I had was, "You will feel better in the morning and besides, boys are stupid." She did laugh but it didn't stop the tears. Bear's only plan was to get the shotgun and hunt the boy down. While the plan sounds good on paper, it wasn't very practical.

By Sunday, she was feeling better. But, I still wish that I could have done more. I wanted to hunt that kid down and make him cry for him mommy. All I could do was tell her that I love her.

My nails match my straw!!

Every so often we have a be nice to "insert kid or parent name here" day. If it is for one of the kids, Bear or I will take her out and do something special for her. This Saturday was the Show's turn.

We decided to take her out for her first mani-pedi combo. Bear obviously was not going to take part in this "bizarre girl ritual," so I was nominated. I am not very girly and the idea of spending hours at a nail salon makes my stomach turn but I love my girl and she really needed to be appreciated. Before we went to get our nails done, we stopped and picked her up a new set of flip-flops, so that here newly painted toes wouldn't smudge. She also found a set of bendy-straws in the shape of flip-flops. She chose to take the blue one for herself. We went to one of those asian owned, open late because they have to be places. The staff was really very nie but had troubl with English. After being welcomed, they asked us to pick out our nail polish colors. The Show went with a nice dark blue (her favorite color) and I went with a French manicure.

As we are picking out our colors though, we ran into a woman that we shall call "The Ugly American." The first thing that she does is ask us very politely to grab her color off the wall. Trying to be nice I start looking for it. The Ugly American, "Its the first row there, 5th one down." So, I point to the first row and look back at her. "Five! Row Five! Geez, its five! Can't you count!" she starts shouting. I look bak at her hand her a random polish and turn back to my girl. If I had been alone, I probably would have said a few choice phrases. Instead, I look at the Show and say, "That woman is kind of a bitch, stick close to me. She can be a jerk to be, but she had better leave you alone." I didn't realize how loud I was, because the entire shop looked at us and a few people giggled.

The Ugly American and her 4 year old daughter terrorize the nail salon staff for the next hour. This woman yells loudly at anyone who is slightly asian looking. Her daughter keeps moving chairs around and leaving her toys in various locations on the floor. The Show who is now starting to feel bad, looks at me and says loudly, "Wow, she really is kind of a B-word." This puts the shop into another fit of giggles.

As we get in the car to leave, she is so happy and excited. "My nails match my eyes! My nails match my shirt! My nails match my straw!" Girls are wierd!