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Signs, Signs, Everwhere there's signs!

We were driving in the car the other day and we saw a sign that said "Signage available." This started a great debate amoung the tribe. Is signage even a word?

The Tyrant brought up a Spongbob episode where Mr. Krabs says it. The Mother Hen chimes in, "That is a cartoon, so it doesn't have to use real words and I don't think it is a real word." The Show wonders, "But is if is not a real word, why is it on that sign?" Bear rolls his eyes at us, "You guys are crazy... Some body pease save me from this conversation!"

So, when I got home, I went so Wikipedia. And according to them signage, is in fact a real word. Mystery solved!

I finally understand, Dad...

I will always remember my favorite Christmas present from when I was a kid. I was about 9 years old when my parents gave me a set of Fisher Price adjustable in-line skates. They were the kind that you wore tennis shoes and tightened the skate around them. I don't really even remember if I asked for them, or it it was just something they thought we might enjoy. At first thaw, I remember being very excited because I could finally go and try them out.


The first ride was pretty painful because I spent more time on my butt then on my skates. The second and third were better. By the end of the week, I couldn't stay off of them. When my friends would ride their bikes, I would skate along side them. My dad use to watch me all of the time when I was skating. He use to insist that I stay close to the house, so that he could watch. I use to get so mad because I thought he didn't trust me or was too scared that I would get hurt.

As I got older and I got new pairs of skates, he still would insist that I spent some time skating near the house. He would tell that me that he enjoyed to watch me. Being a kid, I didn't understand so I thought that he was just smothering me. I use to deliberately try to not skate near the house. I would even take my skates off down the block and walk the rest of the way home.

When I started college and there was less time for fun, I stopped skating as much. He would ask every time that he saw me if I was still skating. I would say "No, too much stuff to do." He would always look disappointed and I was never really sure why. I wasn't sure if he thought that I was getting overweight or if I was less healthy or something.

But, on Father's Day, I finally understood. I was sitting with him watching the girls and Bear play with his dog Max. They were running around, laughing and having fun. He and I just sat there and watched them for a while. That is when I finally got it. I was an awkward kid and I still don't really fit in well with my family, but when I was skating I was truly happy and having fun. He would enjoy watching me have fun, just as I enjoyed watching the girls on Sunday. So Dad, I finally understand why you wanted to watch me so much. I am sorry I was kind of a butt-hole about it.

The moment ended, as all touching moments do. Bear announced that it was time to leave. The Tyrant asked, "Why Daddy?" And Bear said, "Because Sonny wants some peace for Father's Day, you dog terrorists!"

Happy Father's Day!

First, I wanted to say Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there in blogger-land. I hope that you all have a good day.

Second, I wanted to wish Happy Father's Day to my dad. I hope you like your gifts!

Finally, I wanted to say Happy Father's Day to Bear. Thank you for sharing your day with me, as well as the girls. I hope it turns out exactly the way you want it to.

So much for that trick...

As a parent, from time to time, I find myself spelling words to Bear so that the youngest won't know what we are saying specifically. I know all parents have done it and it is a pretty useful thing when you are talking about upcoming trips either the fun ones or the not so fun ones.

Tonight, we were all eating dinner together and Bear asks me, "When are we going to the z-o-o?" I replied, "I am not sure." The Tyrant's face lights up, "Sweet! We are going to the zoo!" Bear looks at her, blinks and then huffs, "Stupid second-grade reading level!"

It is the end of an era, we will no longer be able to spell out small/medium sized words to trick her. I couldn't be more proud of our little first grade graduate.

P.S. I am moving! I got myself one of those fancy domain names. I will now be available at www.lifeandtimesofawickedstepmom.com. I will leave this site up while I transition over but please start using the new address. I am eventually going to change blog hosting too.

We shall have grips like Iron!

Yesterday, The Tyrant managed to get silly putty all over the couch and her shorts. Bright, neon yellow silly putty... The Mother Hen, Bear and I started trying to clean it up. (Thank the intar-web for GoodHouseKeeping!) As we are sitting there scrapping silly putty of shorts and the couch, I looked over at the The Tyrant and asked, "How did this happen?" And she looks at me with tears in her eyes and says "I don't know!" (This link goes to a classic parenting skit, it is a must see!)

I shook my head and continued scrapping. After about 20 minutes of scrapping, The Mother Hen and I both have cramps in our hands but it is finally coming almost all the way off. The Mother Hen said, "I need a break, my hand hurts!" I looked at her, as seriously as I could, "No you can't, you must keep working! We shall have grips like IRON!" We both starting laughing and continued to scrape.

Next, we started dabbing cotton balls of alcohol on the yellow remnants. The Tyrant, who was still showing little remorse for what happened, started playing a video game. I almost lost my temper completely. Instead, I very firmly said "You are going to have to stop playing that game." Bear said, "If you are truly remorseful as you told me you were, you would be trying to help us instead of playing that game." The Tyrant drops her controller and very quietly asks, "Can I help?" Bear, who is working on her shorts, looks up and says "Yes, you can tell us how this happened." The Tyrant says again, "I don't know!" Thoroughly frustrated, Bear leaves the room to pre-treat her shorts so that they can be washed.

After about a half hour of dabbing, the couch is almost clean. The Tyrant has gone back to her video game and The Mother Hen is mad because she has been working and her younger sister is just sitting there. So, in the snarkiest tone possible she looks at The Tyrant and says, "That's okay, when we have grips like iron I am going to use my grip to strangle you!"

They way we think...

So, I was in the car with my mom the other day. Something I usually avoid as much as possible. She and I just don't really understand each other much and talking for extended periods can become awkward. But, she said she really wanted to talk to me and it seemed like a good time to do it.

The first thing that she tells me is that she finally realized something about me. She said, "People think differently and that is okay, but I think I finally realize that you and I think differently and that is why we have to try so hard to understand each other. Your Dad and your brother think the same way that I do. And, it must have been really hard for you growing up with all of us. I think you are brilliant and you use your mind in ways that the rest of us just don't understand. You and I just don't think the same. Sometimes I wish I thought more like you, so that I could understand you better and so that you wouldn't have had it so hard." I was stunned into silence. (Pretty amazing if you ask most people that know me.) So, she continued,
"I just feel really bad that you had to adapt and you had to work so hard at getting along with us and we never even met you half way."

So, I looked at her and said, "That's stupid. If you are going to carry around guilt for not understanding me and not getting the way I think, that is just stupid. If you want to feel guilty, go ahead and feel guilty but not over me and not over this." She didn't really know what to say to that. But, we continued to talk and she said she would work on letting the guilt go.

This conversation with her really made me think about my relationship with the girls and Bear. Growing up, I always felt alone and like an outsider. I don't want anyone to feel that and I try really hard to make sure that it doesn't turn out that way for any of them. But, I thought about it a lot over the last few days. I realized that the five of us laugh at the same jokes, cry at the same sad movies and always try to include everyone. Maybe we try to hard.. there is family movie night, dinner is always eaten together, and no one sits on the side lines for group activities (even the teenager gets involved!). But, I really don't care if we try to hard to include everyone. Its better than not trying at all.