The other day we asked The Tyrant and The Show to clean their room. Our request was quickly followed by alot of whining, deep exaggerated sighs and stomping feet. Their room is much like any other kid's; toys and clothes can be found all over the floors, desks, beds, chairs, etc. But their closet has to be the worst. They share a huge walk-in closet that is so messy you must open the door with extreme caution.
Asking them to clean their room and closet is usually a bi-monthly event that always ends up with one of the two of them in tears. It is almost always The Tyrant who tries very hard to just sit around because she "doesn't know what to do." So, The Show will usually yell at her until she starts helping.
This time was really no different from the last time. The Tyrant came running up to us, in tears. Gasping she yelled, "She.. (gasp) called.. (gasp) ME.. (gasp) the.. (gasp) b-word!" My first reaction was one of shock. Which word was she talking about? So, I asked her, "Did she call you a brat?" (Brat and stupid are considered swear words in our house.) The Tyrant glares and cries, "NO!! The other B-WORD!"
The Show has now made it down the hallway and to us. She is blinking at her sister and looking offended. Bear and I are tensed up because we are thinking it's that B-word. The Show looks at us and rolls her eyes, "I told her to stop being a butthead and throwing things at me." The Tyrant stand ups "SEE!! SEE!! SHE DID IT AGAIN!!"
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Dances, Boys, and Tears: The aftermath
The fued between The Mother Hen and her former best friend started as soon as they got back to school. It started as any other girl fight... "You are a jerk because you stole my boyfriend!" "Well, I wouldn't have stole him if you weren't so ugly!" And so on...
Then, it started to evolve. The former best friend started threatening her and then hiding behind her friends that were no long friends with The Mother Hen. So, The Mother Hen, taking advice from her mother, decided to turn the "whole school" against this girl. When she told Bear and I about this, she was so proud of herself. But, honestly, I have never been more disappointed in her. Not only did she not try to fix the problem but she escalated it so that it was getting well out of control. I had to tell her what I thought. (Because I am an opiniated big mouth.) She was furious with me because I told her that she was wrong. I suggested talking to this girl one-on-one. If she hid behind her friends, I suggested that she talk to her anyway. I also told her at this point, if you won't confront her about it all, just ignore her.
The Mother Hen's pride got the best of her when her former friend started sending threating text messages and myspace messages. Since her profile is set to private (only friends can see it and leave comments) I told her to delete her from her friends list and ignore the messages. She didn't and it got worse. Then her mother got involved. She called the school and threatened to call the police on the school and this girl. The Mother Hen was called into the principal's office as soon as she arrived at school and was told a couple of things. 1) Since you sent threatening messages too, if the police get involved you will be charged and expelled from school and 2) if anything like this happens again that she would be suspended.
Personally, I feel pretty damn lucky that she wasn't suspended. With as many stories in the news lately of teen girl violence, I thought for sure that she was going to be sent home for a few days. Here is what I don't really understand why the social war? Why turn the school against anyone and why respond to the threats on your cell phone? Maybe I was raised around too many boys, but if it were me, I wouldn't have responded to the threats over my cell phone or the internet (chat rooms were the big thing when I was a teen and pagers too... yikes, I am old). I would have confronted the girl at school. I would have said "Why don't you say that to my face? Are you too scared?" Girls just don't fight that way.
That is the one thing I learned from watching Mean Girls. (Besides that it is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back). Girls are taught that violence is not an option and they must be prim and proper at all times. So, they fight these crazy passive aggressive wars that end up with ruined reputations and tears. That is starting to change but the idea of escalation hasn't. I mean, can you seriously believe some of this shit? Now mom's are getting involved in teen girl battles so that the escalation continues.
It is no longer enough to beat up a girl that wronged you. You now have to post it on MySpace, YouTube and Facebook. I am personally disgusted by this whole business. It is past time that we as mothers to daughters start setting the example. We need to show girls to fight together rather than fight each other. Maybe I am the only one that feels this way, and I am an opinionated loud mouth so I say/write what I feel.
Then, it started to evolve. The former best friend started threatening her and then hiding behind her friends that were no long friends with The Mother Hen. So, The Mother Hen, taking advice from her mother, decided to turn the "whole school" against this girl. When she told Bear and I about this, she was so proud of herself. But, honestly, I have never been more disappointed in her. Not only did she not try to fix the problem but she escalated it so that it was getting well out of control. I had to tell her what I thought. (Because I am an opiniated big mouth.) She was furious with me because I told her that she was wrong. I suggested talking to this girl one-on-one. If she hid behind her friends, I suggested that she talk to her anyway. I also told her at this point, if you won't confront her about it all, just ignore her.
The Mother Hen's pride got the best of her when her former friend started sending threating text messages and myspace messages. Since her profile is set to private (only friends can see it and leave comments) I told her to delete her from her friends list and ignore the messages. She didn't and it got worse. Then her mother got involved. She called the school and threatened to call the police on the school and this girl. The Mother Hen was called into the principal's office as soon as she arrived at school and was told a couple of things. 1) Since you sent threatening messages too, if the police get involved you will be charged and expelled from school and 2) if anything like this happens again that she would be suspended.
Personally, I feel pretty damn lucky that she wasn't suspended. With as many stories in the news lately of teen girl violence, I thought for sure that she was going to be sent home for a few days. Here is what I don't really understand why the social war? Why turn the school against anyone and why respond to the threats on your cell phone? Maybe I was raised around too many boys, but if it were me, I wouldn't have responded to the threats over my cell phone or the internet (chat rooms were the big thing when I was a teen and pagers too... yikes, I am old). I would have confronted the girl at school. I would have said "Why don't you say that to my face? Are you too scared?" Girls just don't fight that way.
That is the one thing I learned from watching Mean Girls. (Besides that it is 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back). Girls are taught that violence is not an option and they must be prim and proper at all times. So, they fight these crazy passive aggressive wars that end up with ruined reputations and tears. That is starting to change but the idea of escalation hasn't. I mean, can you seriously believe some of this shit? Now mom's are getting involved in teen girl battles so that the escalation continues.
It is no longer enough to beat up a girl that wronged you. You now have to post it on MySpace, YouTube and Facebook. I am personally disgusted by this whole business. It is past time that we as mothers to daughters start setting the example. We need to show girls to fight together rather than fight each other. Maybe I am the only one that feels this way, and I am an opinionated loud mouth so I say/write what I feel.
Monday, May 26, 2008
What is normal anyway?
This weekend, a friend of The Mother Hen's came over and spent the day and night with us. It went really well but I can't help but wonder what that kid is thinking now that she is home. She and her parents do not get along very well and are rarely home.
We had a normal weekend for us... Saturday night we all sat down on the porch on a blanket and had dinner. We made quesadillas and passed around salsa and jokes. Every night that we are together we all have dinner together. Most of the time there is a lot of laughing involved. And dinner is not over until someone says, "Hey, I was trying to take a drink. Are you trying to make it come out of my nose?" My understanding is that this kid almost never has dinner with her parents and if she does, it is for a holiday.
Later that evening, we rented movies from the video store and prepared snacks for movie night. Normally, we all watch a few movies together, but Bear and I skipped this time (much to everyone's disappointment) and watched game one of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Mother Hen's friend had to ask why everyone was upset. And the answer she received was "We love Movie night when we are all together. It is just not as fun without our parents."
Sunday started with breakfast and insults from room to room and more laughter. Most families probably don't insult each other and laugh as much as we do. Our parenting theory is, there are two kinds of bullies, physical ones and emotional ones. Our kids have thick skin and a sharp wit because we foster it. We call our home "The Shark Tank." The friend spent most of Sunday morning with her eyes really big. She had never seen anything like it.
In the afternoon, we went to the park. Both Bear and I got involved in chasing the kids around the park. She would just stare at us. She didn't even know how to react. I honestly felt really bad for her and her parents. Our kids talk to us about everything. They aren't afraid to ask questions and truly talk to us.
I know that sounds really naive because anyone out there with teenagers will think I am crazy. But, we have earned their trust and their respect because we had to fight for them and still do. Most teenagers think that their parents don't care or don't get it. We have had the luxury (or challenge, depending on how you look at it) of being tested. We still have to fight for them because their mother just doesn't care about them.
I wish that more families were like ours. I know that there are some out there but I think the world would be a better place if every child knew for a fact that their parents truly cared and truly had their best interests in mind.
We had a normal weekend for us... Saturday night we all sat down on the porch on a blanket and had dinner. We made quesadillas and passed around salsa and jokes. Every night that we are together we all have dinner together. Most of the time there is a lot of laughing involved. And dinner is not over until someone says, "Hey, I was trying to take a drink. Are you trying to make it come out of my nose?" My understanding is that this kid almost never has dinner with her parents and if she does, it is for a holiday.
Later that evening, we rented movies from the video store and prepared snacks for movie night. Normally, we all watch a few movies together, but Bear and I skipped this time (much to everyone's disappointment) and watched game one of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Mother Hen's friend had to ask why everyone was upset. And the answer she received was "We love Movie night when we are all together. It is just not as fun without our parents."
Sunday started with breakfast and insults from room to room and more laughter. Most families probably don't insult each other and laugh as much as we do. Our parenting theory is, there are two kinds of bullies, physical ones and emotional ones. Our kids have thick skin and a sharp wit because we foster it. We call our home "The Shark Tank." The friend spent most of Sunday morning with her eyes really big. She had never seen anything like it.
In the afternoon, we went to the park. Both Bear and I got involved in chasing the kids around the park. She would just stare at us. She didn't even know how to react. I honestly felt really bad for her and her parents. Our kids talk to us about everything. They aren't afraid to ask questions and truly talk to us.
I know that sounds really naive because anyone out there with teenagers will think I am crazy. But, we have earned their trust and their respect because we had to fight for them and still do. Most teenagers think that their parents don't care or don't get it. We have had the luxury (or challenge, depending on how you look at it) of being tested. We still have to fight for them because their mother just doesn't care about them.
I wish that more families were like ours. I know that there are some out there but I think the world would be a better place if every child knew for a fact that their parents truly cared and truly had their best interests in mind.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
"I am not an oxsious!"
When I was a kid, my brother and I never got along. We were always bickering and fighting about one thing or another. I know that Bear and I are lucky, because the kids honestly just don't fight that much. When The Tyrant is a bad mood, she fights with everyone. Most of the time though, they get along very well.
We were driving in the car this weekend, with all three kids crammed in the back of a Ford Focus. The kids were all kind of having a bad day. There was a lot of pushing and shoving going on. "Stop touching me!" "You squishing me!" "Stop hitting me!" Just as Bear and I were about to say something about it, The Mother Hen looks at The Tyrant, "Stop being obnoxious!" The Tyrant gasped and then shrieks, "I am not an oxsious!" The entire car starts laughing. And the fight has finally been forgotten.
We were driving in the car this weekend, with all three kids crammed in the back of a Ford Focus. The kids were all kind of having a bad day. There was a lot of pushing and shoving going on. "Stop touching me!" "You squishing me!" "Stop hitting me!" Just as Bear and I were about to say something about it, The Mother Hen looks at The Tyrant, "Stop being obnoxious!" The Tyrant gasped and then shrieks, "I am not an oxsious!" The entire car starts laughing. And the fight has finally been forgotten.
Friday, May 16, 2008
There are rules?!?!
Actual conversation between Bear and I yesterday morning:
Me: You know, Bear, I love that you comment on my blog but I really would like it if you commented as Bear instead of pkinsella. After all, HotWife comments as HotWife on DadGoneMad. It is proper etiquette.
Bear: You mean to tell me there are rules?!?! This whole blog thing has gone to your head!
Me: You know, Bear, I love that you comment on my blog but I really would like it if you commented as Bear instead of pkinsella. After all, HotWife comments as HotWife on DadGoneMad. It is proper etiquette.
Bear: You mean to tell me there are rules?!?! This whole blog thing has gone to your head!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
We have come so far....
I was looking at pictures today from the last 2 years. And I realized how far we have come as a family. We really are a family now, we weren't in the begining.
The Mother Hen did not like me one bit. She use to tell her dad that I gave her dirty looks all the time. Now, I am the first person she looks for when she has a boy that needs to be talked about. She trusts me and that means so much to me.
The Show really didn't care one way or another about me. She did what she always does and tried to make everyone laugh and smile. Now, that we know eachother she shows me her true self. She has more depth than anyone would believe and she is wise beyond her years. When everyone is looking at her performance, she always looks back and sees right through them.
The Tyrant and I have always gotten along in our own way. She is really rather shy with most people so she always kept me at arms length. Now, when she is tired, she will crawl up into my lap and rest her head on my shoulder.
Of course, Bear and I have grown too. The kids calls us an old married couple and always laugh when we act that way. We still hold hands and laugh a lot, but we are so much closer now.
In the begining, the idea that he had three kids scared the hell out of me. Now, I don't know what I would do without them. The four of them make me feel whole. I just hope that I do the same for them.
The Mother Hen did not like me one bit. She use to tell her dad that I gave her dirty looks all the time. Now, I am the first person she looks for when she has a boy that needs to be talked about. She trusts me and that means so much to me.
The Show really didn't care one way or another about me. She did what she always does and tried to make everyone laugh and smile. Now, that we know eachother she shows me her true self. She has more depth than anyone would believe and she is wise beyond her years. When everyone is looking at her performance, she always looks back and sees right through them.
The Tyrant and I have always gotten along in our own way. She is really rather shy with most people so she always kept me at arms length. Now, when she is tired, she will crawl up into my lap and rest her head on my shoulder.
Of course, Bear and I have grown too. The kids calls us an old married couple and always laugh when we act that way. We still hold hands and laugh a lot, but we are so much closer now.
In the begining, the idea that he had three kids scared the hell out of me. Now, I don't know what I would do without them. The four of them make me feel whole. I just hope that I do the same for them.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Mother's Day Cake
The Joker wears flip-flops! (The cake was delicious, even if a looked a bit wierd.)
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